How long has it been?

I went for a run this morning.  Well.... it was more like a jog..... Well.... it was actually a very slow jog with a bit of walking in between.  Basically, it kicked my butt.

This past summer I signed up for a boot camp class.  It was REALLY challenging, and I reminded the instructor (who was AMAZING) more than once that this was supposed to be a class for BEGINNERS!  It got me moving every day, and doing situps, crunches, pushups, lunges, and more for the entire summer.  I even worked out when we went on vacation!  I felt really accountable because I had to be ready for the next Tuesday night class, and if I didn't do my homework, the class would be all that much harder.  I stuck with it for 12 weeks, and I'm quite proud of myself!  From the beginning of that class to today, I lost 7.8 pounds, 1+" from my thighs, 1/2" from my bust, and 1" from my hips.

I probably should have been writing about the class and the progress in it as it went, but I came away from Boot Camp with three "Aha" moments, as Oprah says.

1. For some reason, starting a new exercise routine completely threw me off my diet.  I feel so silly saying this but I couldn't seem to get it together all at the same time at all.  So I probably could have lost a lot more than 7.8 pounds over the summer, but I'm still happy with where I am today as opposed to May.  I learned to make small changes that over time turn into big changes, and to make plans for myself that are realistic.
2. I can do more than I thought I could.  Every class our instructor would push us to do more.  There were classes when I was just holding it together, promising myself I could cry once I got in the car, but usually by that time I had cooled down and felt accomplished.  I discovered that I don't HATE running.  I don't love it, and like might just be too strong of a word still, but I don't hate it.  Who knew?
3. Doing something every day for twelve weeks, with few exceptions, changed my mindset.  This one is HUGE.  I feel really guilty, and wrong, if I don't get some activity every day.  It is on my mind and ever present.

The last Aha!  is the one this post is about.  Right after class ended, we had the very affordable, awesome opportunity to train as a group with the same instructor on Wednesday nights and/or Saturday mornings.  I thought Sure! I can figure that out!  Then I realized that once a month I have book club on Wednesday nights.  Now as much as I am committed to getting fit and healthy, there is NO WAY I'm missing the one night a month I get to see these wonderful women in my book group.  Then I realized that weekends are just hard for me.  It's the only time with everyone home, and I treasure that time.  I have all this time during the week that I can insert exercise around my work schedule.  I want to leave the weekends for my family.  I can still exercise, but on a flexible schedule around the family.

So once I figured out that the Wed/Sat schedule wasn't working, I decided to try it on my own (DANGER AHEAD).  I pay for a YMCA membership, and want to either use it or cancel it.   But for some reason, even though I thought about it almost every day, I didn't go.  I didn't run.  I didn't jog.  I walked a bit, but not regularly.   I also was having trouble staying on my diet.   My approach was not working.  It's time for a change here.  

Today I got up, decided to run back from the oil change place where I left my car, and figured "How hard can it be?"  Well, it's shocking how quickly I lost endurance and wind!  It's been about 30 days since I was doing something every day.  I did some things in between, but it's been 30 days since class ended.  I feel like I'm back to the beginning with my running.  I'm afraid to see what the pushups and situps look like!  This is the point though....

I'M BACK.

I'm better off than I was in May because of the three things I listed above.  I know those things now.  

So I hope to update this blog often this fall with my successes, setbacks, confessions, and my journey.

Quote of the day: Many things aren't equal, but everyone gets the same 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  We make time for what we truly want.

Trying to find more of me

  I turned 50 a few years ago, and while the number doesn't bother me so much, I realize that it is past time to take care of myself.  I'm a mother of three, wife of a wonderful man, and an active member of the communities I take part in.  I chose to leave the corporate, commuting 2 hours, high-stress job of a programmer in the financial industry to take on raising my children and caring for my family full time when I was expecting my third child 15 years ago.  I've never regretted that decision, and truly believe that because I was fortunate enough to be able to do that it has made a difference in my family.  About 6 years ago I created my own company called FreeMyFotoz, and I love the work I do helping people deal with the thousands of digital and print photos that so many of us have.  The flexibility of owning my own business far outweighs the extra work and time of that endeavor.

    One thing I have neglected is me.  Not in a big way - I take time to read, follow some favorite TV shows, have fun with my family, lunch or coffee with dear friends, etc.   I am extremely fortunate.   I just haven't put me first.  I realize that I need to do that now to lose weight and become more fit.  I want to be around for a long time to enjoy retirement with my hard-working husband and see the lives of my children unfold.

   I've tried Weight Watchers what seems like a million times, and (not surprisingly), when I FOLLOW the program, the program WORKS.    I have about 80 pounds to lose to even come close to a healthy weight, and that can feel overwhelming.  I do believe, however, that I can do this.  I am going to cook more, plan more, and try to take care of me more.  I'm going to follow the Weight Watchers program and share my journey here.  I am SURE that I will share successes AND setbacks, but this will be where I am accountable.   There is a lot more of me UNDER all of this extra weight, and I'm going to try to find it.

   Some things that I've figured out:

• When I cook flavorful foods, I am more satisfied and tend to want to stay on course.
• When I go to the gym, it starts out as the LAST thing I want to do, but I NEVER leave the gym regretting that I went.
• Having the right things in the house to nosh on, and clearing out the wrong things (for me) helps a lot.
• Part of why Weight Watchers works for me is that nothing is off limits.  I can have everything, in moderation.  It's real life and is training me for a new relationship with food.   It may take longer, or be more work than the quick fad diets, but I truly believe I'll come through the process and be able to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.
• My kids are WAY more flexible than I give them credit for.  Served a dinner last night that tasted ok, but could have looked very suspicious to the 15-year-old.  Everyone loved it.  Go figure.

   So if you find this blog, and choose to share my journey by reading along, WELCOME!  I will leave you with a quote from FDR.  He said "It isn't sufficient just to want - you've got to ask yourself what you are going to do to get the things you want."  

-Tricia